(no subject)

When I got in from rehearsal last night I sloshed down about half a carton pineapple juice that was in the fridge. About an hour later I woke up, cold and sweating with agonising stomach cramps and dashed to the loo where I threw up. This fun scenario repeated itself throughout the night at approximately hourly intervals.

At some point this morning I checked the carton of juice which - you guessed it - had a use-by date of 24 December. You will recall that I blamed my gastric challenges of earlier this week on unwisely sampling some smelly French cheese I had bought as a Christmas treat. I now realise the same carton of juice was to blame for that.

I have been asleep most of the day. I tentaitvely drank a glass of water a while ago and ominous roilings are making themselves known in the stomach department.

I feel very, very sorry for myself.